dunno who actually reads this anymore, its not like i update it much anyways. if i ever figure out how to pull all my entries off this site i think i'll close it. the song you're hearing right now brings chills down my spine. its because i desire an image of myself that I picture in my head. only thing is that in reality i'm no where near that image. i am capable of pursuing this image but lack the self discipline. life is a line that you cant just make the line shorter or easier to follow. if you try to it becomes more difficult in the end. you really just gotta be patient with it. knowing that the life you have is not something that you've made for yourself, but something that was crafted for you by every single thing around you. some things just dont make sense, but the truth it everything's obvious... someone just hasnt explained it to you yet. it's like the line which we follow, we just need to wait for our answers. at this point in life, much is changing and lots more will be expected. the wait is like a salted flesh wound for me the impatient. i am confused by the sensory overload. I just cant take living in the worldly fashion. It's like a drug that flows in your veins, unable to get away because you first fell for the lie. I want to break free, I want to make that change. i want that next step. I know I wont be able to do it alone. I don't desire a relationship that only fuels my selffish desires. That makes it just another check mark on the list. Life is more richer and fuller. The reason is so complex that it draws my attention. It grabs my entirety and mystifies the brain. I desire to be free from bondage of logic and chains of this world. To live life as it has been planned, and to not worry about the next page. I'm breaking free... come join me. | 